A definition of bereavement
Bereavement is the state of loss when someone close to you has died. The death of someone you love is one of the greatest sorrows that can occur. Feelings of bereavement can also accompany other losses, such as the decline of your health or the health of someone you care about, or at the end of an important relationship or the loss of a beloved pet.
GRIEF IS A NORMAL, HEALTHY RESPONSE TO LOSS
WHAT TO EXPECT
Following the death of a loved one, most people experience a whole range of emotions. Initial feelings may include disbelief, numbness, anger, sadness, guilt, emptiness, maybe even, in some instances, a sense of relief.
These feelings may be mixed up together and you may wonder if you are going mad. It is very likely that, despite the nature of the emotions you are experiencing, which may be strong and frightening, you are reacting normally to the bereavement you have suffered. It is also likely that other people around you may feel similar emotions or possibly very different ones. For example, if you have children they could also have equally strong feelings and may need a trusted person or friend in whom to confide.
COMMON FEELINGS
The numbness you felt initially will pass in time, but feelings of occasional disbelief, terrible sadness, anger guilt and emptiness may remain very powerful. Many bereaved people mention similar experiences such as:
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The feeling of being on an emotional roller-coaster.
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The need to talk about the loss constantly.
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Trying to put on a brave face for others.
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The question: 'Will I ever feel better?'.
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The feeling that there is no point in getting up to start the day.
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The feeling that no future can be envisaged - to the extent of thoughts of suicide.
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The feeling of constant struggle to live hour by hour and day by day.
ways of coping
Some people will need to talk about the death of a loved one over and over again for many months. Some will not want to talk about it at all, and will wish to try and divert their feelings, some of the time into work and or hobbies, sometimes to an apparent obsessive extent.
The greatest difficulty may be experienced where one person needs to talk and others in the home cannot listen or express their own feelings. It is very common for partners only to have energy for their own grief and be temporary unable to help each other. It may be necessary to acknowledge together that each person within the family may need to express their own grief in differing ways, and respect each other's need to find support in their own way.
finding help
Talking to someone you trust or feel you can talk to may be helpful, or you may find support through the hospital, your GP, hospice or related charities There are also specialist voluntary groups and organisations for families whose child has died in particular circumstances. Some of these help organisations are:
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Cruse Bereavement Care.
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British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.
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Samaritans.
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Compassionate Friends.
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Child Death Helpline.
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SANDS Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society.
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Wiltshire Tree House, Child Bereavement UK.
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Miscarriage Association.